this pain I have inside
I wish I could move on
but my heart does not abide
Silly as they seem
my feelings, they were true
And now I'm left alone
alone to lament you
(30-01-15)
Friday, 30 January 2015
Yet
Yet I still prefer these feelings
heart wrenching as they are
I know I'm alive
And despite everything
I love being alive
So I will celebrate these feelings
the proof of my humanity
the proof of my love
(29-01-2015)
heart wrenching as they are
I know I'm alive
And despite everything
I love being alive
So I will celebrate these feelings
the proof of my humanity
the proof of my love
(29-01-2015)
Now I See the Signs, too
All the small signs
shining obnoxiously in loud neon
- only to you
I was left in the dark
seeing no signs
I liked the dark
They say ignorance is bliss
and to me it was
The harsh light of day
those fucking signs
blinding me with ugly neon
I don't know
if I wish
that I'd seen them sooner
Kinda do, kinda don't
If I had
seen those signs
I wouldn't know you
quite like I now do
They say to smile even if it ends
but I will cry myself to sleep
tonight
Again
(29-01-2015)
shining obnoxiously in loud neon
- only to you
I was left in the dark
seeing no signs
I liked the dark
They say ignorance is bliss
and to me it was
The harsh light of day
those fucking signs
blinding me with ugly neon
I don't know
if I wish
that I'd seen them sooner
Kinda do, kinda don't
If I had
seen those signs
I wouldn't know you
quite like I now do
They say to smile even if it ends
but I will cry myself to sleep
tonight
Again
(29-01-2015)
Sunday, 25 January 2015
Rebekah Mikaelson
Laugh at the girl
who loved too easily
She who gave her heart
to anyone
Anyone who showed her
the tiniest bit of affection
She would feel that affection
thousandfold
And thus she was lost,
swept away by a smile
Call her weak and foolish
clearly scared of being alone
Show no humanity
as you laugh at her pain
Ask if her heart
is worth having
when so easily obtained
Watch her slowly break
and crumble
As she fails to hide
behind that smile
(25-01-2015)
who loved too easily
She who gave her heart
to anyone
Anyone who showed her
the tiniest bit of affection
She would feel that affection
thousandfold
And thus she was lost,
swept away by a smile
Call her weak and foolish
clearly scared of being alone
Show no humanity
as you laugh at her pain
Ask if her heart
is worth having
when so easily obtained
Watch her slowly break
and crumble
As she fails to hide
behind that smile
(25-01-2015)
Untitled
It scares me
more than anything
The way you make me feel
How could I give you that much power?
(25-01-2015)
more than anything
The way you make me feel
How could I give you that much power?
(25-01-2015)
The Way I Fall
I hate the way I fall
Suddenly, out of control
Air pushed from my lungs
Tears streaming from my eyes
Terrified in anticipation
"When will I hit the ground?"
"How much will it hurt?"
"How long will it take
this time
to patch myself back together?"
Oh how I hate to fall
always uncertain
always frightened
always left alone
burning on the ground
(25-01-2015)
Suddenly, out of control
Air pushed from my lungs
Tears streaming from my eyes
Terrified in anticipation
"When will I hit the ground?"
"How much will it hurt?"
"How long will it take
this time
to patch myself back together?"
Oh how I hate to fall
always uncertain
always frightened
always left alone
burning on the ground
(25-01-2015)
I guess this is Goodbye
"So, I guess this is Goodbye"
Feet scraping the pavement, where fallen leaves laid left to rot.
"I guess"
She looked up at him, her eyes widening, heart pumping. She had known it for a while, yet it shocked her. He didn't face her, couldn't face her. He knew the confusion and the pain that was written on her face, for it was also inked over his own heart. He started, but fell silent. He tried again.
"I mean... This is what it's come to, right?" He still wouldn't look at her.
"I suppose so." In his ears her voice was clear and sharp. She felt as though it was nothing but a whisper.
They stood another minute, neither one of them wanting to go. But they could not stay forever, and they soon parted, walking off alone.
(25-01-2015)
Feet scraping the pavement, where fallen leaves laid left to rot.
"I guess"
She looked up at him, her eyes widening, heart pumping. She had known it for a while, yet it shocked her. He didn't face her, couldn't face her. He knew the confusion and the pain that was written on her face, for it was also inked over his own heart. He started, but fell silent. He tried again.
"I mean... This is what it's come to, right?" He still wouldn't look at her.
"I suppose so." In his ears her voice was clear and sharp. She felt as though it was nothing but a whisper.
They stood another minute, neither one of them wanting to go. But they could not stay forever, and they soon parted, walking off alone.
(25-01-2015)
And I'll be okay
Don't you worry about me
don't you ever dare worry
I can handle myself
and all the feelings that I have
Don't try to protect me
with gentle, ill advised lies
Don't spare me the pain
it is rightfully my burden
Don't try to save me
from a monster only I can see
Don't you worry about me
don't you ever dare worry
I can handle myself
and I'll be okay
(25-01-2015)
don't you ever dare worry
I can handle myself
and all the feelings that I have
Don't try to protect me
with gentle, ill advised lies
Don't spare me the pain
it is rightfully my burden
Don't try to save me
from a monster only I can see
Don't you worry about me
don't you ever dare worry
I can handle myself
and I'll be okay
(25-01-2015)
Saturday, 24 January 2015
.JPG)
Friday, 23 January 2015
the losing of a child
the only thing that held them together, the only bond left, got so weak it snapped, their future blaring with its non-telling black.
as the darkness got closer, she reached for his hand, only to realise she was alone. the only one to fall over the black edge, his silent tears heard from above, her last look showed a glimpse of his smile.
she fell for an eternity, and then another. she forgot her name, her life, her soul, became only a piece of dust, falling, falling, until finally she stopped spinning, and landed on her feet.
he did not fall. he kept going, but walking alone, he dared not take her hand, saw the wild hurricane brewing inside, knowing it was a storm for her alone.
so he stayed on the edge, never crossing it, but close enough to look down. he heard no scream nor other sounds, except those of his own everlasting tears.
when she started to walk again, she was herself anew. her vision clear, her smile bright, her head held high. she walked with ease though remembered clearly, her eternities filled with darkness.
his shoulders slumped always now, his eyes no longer lit alight. he saw her first and straightened fast, his heart the unfamiliar song of hope sang. her smile was friendly and polite, eyebrows rose in question.
his heart stopped singing, as he realised, she recognised him not at all. he sighed and waved then turned away, continuing his walk alone.
as the darkness got closer, she reached for his hand, only to realise she was alone. the only one to fall over the black edge, his silent tears heard from above, her last look showed a glimpse of his smile.
she fell for an eternity, and then another. she forgot her name, her life, her soul, became only a piece of dust, falling, falling, until finally she stopped spinning, and landed on her feet.
he did not fall. he kept going, but walking alone, he dared not take her hand, saw the wild hurricane brewing inside, knowing it was a storm for her alone.
so he stayed on the edge, never crossing it, but close enough to look down. he heard no scream nor other sounds, except those of his own everlasting tears.
when she started to walk again, she was herself anew. her vision clear, her smile bright, her head held high. she walked with ease though remembered clearly, her eternities filled with darkness.
his shoulders slumped always now, his eyes no longer lit alight. he saw her first and straightened fast, his heart the unfamiliar song of hope sang. her smile was friendly and polite, eyebrows rose in question.
his heart stopped singing, as he realised, she recognised him not at all. he sighed and waved then turned away, continuing his walk alone.
(29-03-2012)
Passionate love
More than I can tell
More than I can show
an unguarded secret
I say no words
but they all see it in my eyes
Burning ever brighter
I am no air
it cannot consume me
only spread to others
You smile knowingly
I spark
because you
(23-01-2015)
More than I can show
an unguarded secret
I say no words
but they all see it in my eyes
Burning ever brighter
I am no air
it cannot consume me
only spread to others
You smile knowingly
I spark
because you
(23-01-2015)
That pain
That pain
sudden, unexpected
I shouldn't be surprised
used to it by now
The scars on my skin
red and bloody
hurt less than your words
incomparable pain
I thought
too little, too much
Not realistically enough
lost myself in fantasies
with a dream of you
I
needed you for me
to grow my smile
felt safe
felt happy
That pain, your words
Now silence
(23-01-2015)
sudden, unexpected
I shouldn't be surprised
used to it by now
The scars on my skin
red and bloody
hurt less than your words
incomparable pain
I thought
too little, too much
Not realistically enough
lost myself in fantasies
with a dream of you
I
needed you for me
to grow my smile
felt safe
felt happy
That pain, your words
Now silence
(23-01-2015)
.jpg)
I was made
I was made
to fly amongst the clouds
Filled as they are with rain
so am I filled with sorrow
Only sorrow burdens,
and I was made heavy
A heaviness great shedding
of tears could not lessen
I was made, now chained
to the rock, to the earth
Gazing upwards, dreaming
My body small and light
I would not fly
The mind sank deeper,
heavier still
The clouds above shed their tears
and in the rain I took a breath
I started breathing,
and fell slowly in love
with my rock, with the earth
Then I lifted,
and flew away
For I was made
to fly
(23-01-2015)
to fly amongst the clouds
Filled as they are with rain
so am I filled with sorrow
Only sorrow burdens,
and I was made heavy
A heaviness great shedding
of tears could not lessen
I was made, now chained
to the rock, to the earth
Gazing upwards, dreaming
My body small and light
I would not fly
The mind sank deeper,
heavier still
The clouds above shed their tears
and in the rain I took a breath
I started breathing,
and fell slowly in love
with my rock, with the earth
Then I lifted,
and flew away
For I was made
to fly
(23-01-2015)
Because forever
Because forever only exists
if you stay the same
They can't promise you forever
you'll do good not to trust forever
'For you will live so many
forever upon forever upon forever
and none will last
but you
You will find yourself and
who you are
over and over and over
So trust no forever
Because forever only exists
if you stay the same
(23-01-2015)
if you stay the same
They can't promise you forever
you'll do good not to trust forever
'For you will live so many
forever upon forever upon forever
and none will last
but you
You will find yourself and
who you are
over and over and over
So trust no forever
Because forever only exists
if you stay the same
(23-01-2015)
Verses 1 2 3
She is unfathomable
Yet stands right in front of you
Her heart bursting with feeling
There's thunder in her eyes
Electricity flows from the touch of her lips
The storm outside is nothing
compared to her enigma
No thought escapes her
and she plays with them all
Her soul stronger by being shattered
And her storming eyes haunt you
She walks by the seaside
She dwells in the ocean
calmer after the storm
A soft wind plays with her hair
Her skin like seashells
coloured white, red, yellow
Once soft, now hardened
Her footprints never stay long in the sand
And I hide in the forest
Inside looking out
A runaway watching goddesses
I, a lonely, scared wolf
No thunder and no ocean
The raindrops sing me songs
as they land on the leaves
beneath my dirty paws
And as they face the storm
I'll keep hiding
deeper in the forest
(06-12-2014)
Yet stands right in front of you
Her heart bursting with feeling
There's thunder in her eyes
Electricity flows from the touch of her lips
The storm outside is nothing
compared to her enigma
No thought escapes her
and she plays with them all
Her soul stronger by being shattered
And her storming eyes haunt you
She walks by the seaside
She dwells in the ocean
calmer after the storm
A soft wind plays with her hair
Her skin like seashells
coloured white, red, yellow
Once soft, now hardened
Her footprints never stay long in the sand
And I hide in the forest
Inside looking out
A runaway watching goddesses
I, a lonely, scared wolf
No thunder and no ocean
The raindrops sing me songs
as they land on the leaves
beneath my dirty paws
And as they face the storm
I'll keep hiding
deeper in the forest
(06-12-2014)
It's like when I smile
It's like when I smile for no reason
my lips break my face
like the sun clears the sky
on a cloudy day
And I smile as my heart sings
(06-12-2014)
my lips break my face
like the sun clears the sky
on a cloudy day
And I smile as my heart sings
(06-12-2014)
From the Costa napkin
And I remember the way I fell
Over the edge and into Oblivion
I pictured your silly face
Laughing as I plunged to my
As I fell and faded away
*
Standing alone
In your empty room
Your still-beating heart bleeding through my fingers
*
'Cause you made me feel like
I was special above else
The way you never let me
take one step by myself
It's like I was a doll
made of glass, sat on a shelf
(30-11-2014)
Over the edge and into Oblivion
I pictured your silly face
Laughing as I plunged to my
As I fell and faded away
*
Standing alone
In your empty room
Your still-beating heart bleeding through my fingers
*
'Cause you made me feel like
I was special above else
The way you never let me
take one step by myself
It's like I was a doll
made of glass, sat on a shelf
(30-11-2014)
For under the light of the moon
For under the light of the moon
they danced all night
The trees brought music
by the wind in their leaves
The flowers whispered
and rustled on the ground
For they were barefoot
and connected to the Earth
Thanking the Mother
for all their life and joy
And they felt powerful
and as they felt they became
Their laughter echoing through the night
the witches under the moonlight
(02-10-2014)
they danced all night
The trees brought music
by the wind in their leaves
The flowers whispered
and rustled on the ground
For they were barefoot
and connected to the Earth
Thanking the Mother
for all their life and joy
And they felt powerful
and as they felt they became
Their laughter echoing through the night
the witches under the moonlight
(02-10-2014)
Every time she walks
Every time she walks
she steps with confidence
There's murder in her eyes
She's the Devil's Princess
On a path of darkness
She thrives
She walks among allies
Friends and enemies are the same
She walks among memories
Her life was never laid out
by anyone but herself
She chose
A tiny smirk
She'll crush your heart
She's happy
Her sisters are the stars
in the dark blue sky
Her brother is the moon
Her father is the Devil
who cares for his princess so
Corpses trail her path
Her bare feet dressed in blood
Never wore white
Innocence wasn't lost
just never found
Every step she takes
is filled with confidence
There's gleeful murder in her eyes
She's made it all an artform
Her shoulders are relaxed
Devil's Princess
She is happy
(25-09-2014)
she steps with confidence
There's murder in her eyes
She's the Devil's Princess
On a path of darkness
She thrives
She walks among allies
Friends and enemies are the same
She walks among memories
Her life was never laid out
by anyone but herself
She chose
A tiny smirk
She'll crush your heart
She's happy
Her sisters are the stars
in the dark blue sky
Her brother is the moon
Her father is the Devil
who cares for his princess so
Corpses trail her path
Her bare feet dressed in blood
Never wore white
Innocence wasn't lost
just never found
Every step she takes
is filled with confidence
There's gleeful murder in her eyes
She's made it all an artform
Her shoulders are relaxed
Devil's Princess
She is happy
(25-09-2014)
Your Turn - Fair Enough
I once picked a flower from
an apple tree
Put it on the ground to watch it
from above
It rained away that
summer for me
But will always remind me
of my secret love
an apple tree
Put it on the ground to watch it
from above
It rained away that
summer for me
But will always remind me
of my secret love
(2013-06-10)
Pre-exam poem
Breathe, child, or you'll explode
Who can know what the future will hold?
You who run
and laugh
and cry
Keep on believing that you can touch the sky
One day you will see with eyes like mine
old and tired, when stars no longer shine
You have an adventure in your hand
fly real high, before you land
Who can know what the future will hold?
You who run
and laugh
and cry
Keep on believing that you can touch the sky
One day you will see with eyes like mine
old and tired, when stars no longer shine
You have an adventure in your hand
fly real high, before you land
(2013-05-03)
Danger seems to follow me in my dreams
From scared to calm to happy in three relationships I never had
The younger boy with glasses,
being teased and mocked by his friends,
I took his hand in mine
and put my head to rest on his shoulder
and told him he's got my heart
And that I would take care of his
The red headed girl I used to love
she felt left out and mourned our relationship
I remembered our sweet kisses
and how brilliantly we shined together
She was my best friend
and to me, she still is
Talking to the older man with blonde hair
his scraggly beard so familiar against my cheek
He told me he would always love me
but he knew I had moved on
To something more healthy and pure
he wished me happiness
he saw it was right
and sighed beside my red headed girl
as I took the young boy's hand in mine
(2013-04-29)
The younger boy with glasses,
being teased and mocked by his friends,
I took his hand in mine
and put my head to rest on his shoulder
and told him he's got my heart
And that I would take care of his
The red headed girl I used to love
she felt left out and mourned our relationship
I remembered our sweet kisses
and how brilliantly we shined together
She was my best friend
and to me, she still is
Talking to the older man with blonde hair
his scraggly beard so familiar against my cheek
He told me he would always love me
but he knew I had moved on
To something more healthy and pure
he wished me happiness
he saw it was right
and sighed beside my red headed girl
as I took the young boy's hand in mine
(2013-04-29)
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