Our little Hollywood dream

You bring it up,
time after time
The love we'll share
with children running around
A big house near the sea
or a cottage in the snow
You paint this beautiful picture
were you will love me so
But every time we talk
about how things really are
You say we can never be
and I end up counting scars
You kiss me, you love me,
you touch my very soul
But it's never true, never real,
it can never be our goal
You fantasise our future
and how we'll raise our kids
"It's our little Hollywood dream"
and that's all it ever is

(12-12-2016)

I am no cliff

I am no cliff 

I will crumble and fall 

Under the weight of my own world 

Do not add yours 

I can not cope

I am no cliff 

You're a coward 

And you are weak 

And it's alright 

It's what you need to be 

I will support you

Much as I can 

But I am no cliff 

I'm but one man

(05-09-2016)

Our Secret

Brown eyes and gold hair
sometimes I wish I could meet you there
there where life is not like this
would never hide a single kiss
Perhaps some place where you could be
that's not here, not him, not me
You would laugh and you would cry
you would smile, and make us sigh
You would be a happiness then
because before you it would all make sense
But here is not the place for you
I'm sorry, my sweetheart, but that is true
It may not be right, it is not fair
I'll never see your brown eyes, or your golden hair
A happiness you could be still
but that chance is lost
you never will


(13-09-2016)

Home II

Sometimes in life
you find yourself adrift
Far away and alone
from all that you know

I have been lost
in unfamiliar places
To think I was so lucky
to instantly meet you

You are warmth
and you are joy
You are safety
and you are support
You're a hand to hold
and a smile to greet
You are exactly
what I need

An instant connection
between me and you
Far away
from all I know
Your gentle eyes told me
I was not alone

Despite all the confusion
now I carry on
You are my safe harbour
and you are my new home

For Tara

It's alright, darling, the stars didn't know
Headfirst into danger,
Why must you hurt them so?

Forever they searched,
a long time ago
Overlooking your fate,
cruelly, darling...

All the chances you lost
All the time gone you by
Darling, they all remember your smile

So much power within,
so much love left to give
You should've, you could've
It hurts us still

The world keeps spinning
Forcefully in my head
it all blurs together
and I am left for dead

So long, you linger on
they'll all see you again
Amongst those foolish stars
you are the brightest gem

Darling, I promise,
you're alright in the end

We

We started as nothing but a mess
We argued, fell apart, and broke down
Never a kind word
would fall from our lips
They captured us all the same
The Light Side of Love
can it stand
against so much Darkness?
Against the Force of Time
There's so much I wished I said
So much you wished you'd tried
We feel deep, into that love
But it spit us out
We tried, broke down, fell apart
and I kept falling
Now you stand Alone
No, this light love
Cannot stand against the Dark
Cannot hold up against time
We started as a mess
and We Ended
all the same


(05-06-2016)

Flame Inside

What started as a spark, tiny
and insignificant
Grew
It grew into a wee flame
a flame that kept my heart warm
kept me alive
But if you feed the fire
it will grow still
More and more it grows
and the flame is no more
A raging inferno
consuming everything it touches
until there is nothing left
of me
A pile of ashes is all
you've left inside of me
and I grow cold
am no more
flame died
so did I


(05-06-2016)

Older, am I?

Am I growing older
when I can feel the days
growing longer as well
and there's no excitement left
Oh, I feel time
shaping me, beating me down
Is this what it's like
growing old and tired
urging time to move faster
I desire
propelling me forward
to that one thing
I haven't tried
yet


(05-06-2016)

that which dulls

I use it
I need it
I want it
that which dulls
the pain of life
the horror of morning
the fright of night
that which dulls
deep in my system
blinding my eyes
steadying my breath
that which dulls
my heart racing
emotions storming
I need
that which dulls


(19-05-2016)

frustration

Blood. Boiling.
Heavy in my flesh.
Head, pounding
storm raging inside.
This anger
consumes
and I
lose
myself.


(19-05-2016)

My Fascination

Dark and lovely
Shining skin
Low eyes under thick lashes
Graceful legs
Strong and powerful

The will shining through
Mesmerises me to you


(19-05-2016)

to begin anew

As we search for new beginnings,
I wonder.
As they search for new beginnings,
so do I.
We measure illogically
in the end, there was only one
beginning

History repeats
is that because of all our
made up beginnings?
So much better then
not to begin anew
but to continue

I used to hope for new beginnings
where I would be better
but how?
No
I won't look for them anymore

I will continue
never again start at the beginning
I will use everything I've learned
experienced
Every thought I've had
I won't look to repeat
I will be better
by continuing

I'm in the middle,
here, I will grow


(02-03-2016)

A heavy hope

A heavy hope
lies in my heart
Lies safe in my
changeable heart
A heart of a weak woman
of a Ruling Queen
Oh, if I could banish that hope
have it leave me be
Heavy rests the head
that wears the crown
and there should be
no hope for me

(16-12-2015)

This is (melody)

This is for those who dabble in darkness
This is for those we lost to the flames
This is for those we never truly loved
This is for those who take the blame
This is for you and me
So lost yet so free
I don't know where we'll be
come morning time

This is for those without direction
This is for those who feel nothing but pain
This is for those who shine so bright

This is for those who'd do it all again
This is for us who believe
This is for those who see
This is for all who try
This is for you and I

(25-01-2016)

Who is the Patron Saint of Liars and Fakers?

The Godly One
who changes
face
name
person
The Godly One
without a
home
calm
trust
The Godly One
who is
afraid

(23-01-2016)

Safe Space

Your breathe on my skin
Your hands locked in mind
Your determination to hold my heart
and protect it
Your kind eyes gazing into mine
Your kisses on my forehead
Please let me stay
You are my safe space

(10-12-2015)

Fear the forest

fear the forest
he creeps close
the keymaker snapping twigs
losing his mind
locking his heart
fear the forest
fear his home
fear your grave
moonlight filled

(11-02-2013)